The Trauma of Disrespect

“There is no one way to recover and heal from any trauma. Each survivor chooses their own path or stumbles across it.”- Laurie Matthew. Very often, we associate trauma with physical pain. Sadly, many of us walk around daily with mountains of trauma from various manifestations within our lives. Trauma can happen at any age. In fact, trauma can affect us at any time, including a long time after the event had happened. Outside of personal trauma, there are also collective and generational traumas. Generational or intergenerational trauma is a type of trauma that is experienced across generations of a family, culture or group. On the other hand, secondary trauma occurs when you witness trauma or you are closely connected to it. It is sometimes called vicarious trauma. Many of us as Afro Caribbean people are still traumatized when we watch slavery-inspired movies or films, such as ‘Roots’ and “12 Years A Slave". The movie 12 Years a Slave is a 2013 biographical historical drama film directed by Steve McQueen, based on the 1853 memoir of Solomon Northup, a free man kidnapped and sold into slavery. The film won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 2014, making history as the first film directed by a Black director to win the award. Collective trauma is when a traumatic event happens to a large number of people at the same time. Whether it is personal or collective it appears that trauma has defined our lives. The American Psychological Association defines trauma as any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behavior, and other aspects of functioning. Traumatic events include those caused by human behavior (e.g., rape, war, industrial accidents) as well as by nature (e.g., earthquakes) and often challenge an individual’s view of the world as a just, safe, and predictable place. Additionally, any serious physical injury, such as a widespread burn or a blow to the head can be classified as a traumatic event. The Trauma of Disrespect. Disrespect can be a deeply traumatic experience, particularly for those with a history of childhood trauma, as it can trigger intense emotional reactions and activate primal survival responses. This heightened sensitivity to disrespect can lead to feelings of shame, powerlessness, insecurity, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. As a result, we ought to work assiduously to render assistance to those who suffer from trauma. The workplace is notorious for fostering a culture of disrespect. In many instances, those who hold positions and ranks are rude and disrespectful to those they supervise. Many public officials do not realize that they should be polite and courteous to the public given they would be unemployed if there was no public to service. Furthermore, the power dynamics in work relationships between employer and employee frequently lends itself to a culture of disrespect. This permissive culture of disrespect oftentimes goes unchecked. Those who are disrespected suffer in silence given that in most instances the word of the supervisor is taken over the person who is being supervised. This situation often creates a toxic work environment in which productivity is sacrificed. Those supervisors who operate in a bubble of being disrespectful oftentimes behave as if they have an entitlement to be rude. Let us not fool ourselves, the culture of disrespect has also penetrated our churches and is most unnerving. Historically, the church was viewed as a place of refuge. Unfortunately, over the years, the church has also become a site of conflict and trauma. Is Integrity Still Desirous?. Is integrity desirous anymore? The United Nations defines integrity as the practice of being honest, being respectful, adhering to our values, and consistently making positive decisions even when no one else is looking. Whereas honesty refers to the act of being truthful, integrity is the act of adherence to principles. Acting with integrity has many personal, social, and professional benefits. When one acts with integrity respect is guaranteed. Ethical leadership goes beyond simply complying with the law. It is about setting the tone at the top by demonstrating a commitment to ethical behaviour in all aspects of business operations. This includes: Integrity: Leaders must act with honesty and transparency, even in challenging situations. Leaders must embody the principles of ethical behavior in their daily interactions. This includes being transparent about mistakes and taking responsibility for shortcomings. A culture of integrity occurs in a workplace environment where ethical behavior is the norm, and employees are encouraged to act with honesty, transparency, and accountability. It involves a commitment to upholding moral and ethical principles in all aspects of the organization's operations. This includes transparent decision-making, honest communication, and a willingness to address wrongdoing. In Pursuit of Humility. To be humble does not mean to have a low opinion of yourself, but rather to have an accurate one and to put your accomplishments into perspective. Humility is having the self-esteem to understand that even though you are doing well, you do not have to brag or gloat about it. Undoubtedly, some of those who lead must come off their high horse. All leaders and those who aspire to lead must be mindful that they are first servants. Unfortunately, the notion of servanthood is fast disappearing from our society. Too many of us view humility as a lack of ambition or self-esteem. This view is based on falsehood and needs to be interrogated. In fact, to be humble means to have the confidence to empower those around you. Humility requires courage and poise. Humility is a desirous trait to have regardless of one’s station in life. It is important to stay humble, or in some cases be humbled, because having humility not only helps you develop a more kind approach to interacting with others but also influences how you perceive yourself and the world around you. We all need to gravitate to a culture that encompasses humility. Humility helps one to extend more empathy and compassion to others. Unhealed trauma can have a debilitating impact on an individual. If not addressed adequately it renders one a prisoner. It is your responsibility to seek help. Healing from a traumatic experience is not a sprint. In order for total healing to be arrived at one has to be true to oneself. It takes a village of support and empowerment to restore oneself after having a traumatic experience. In the words of Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Wayne Campbell is an educator and social commentator with an interest in development policies as they affect culture and or gender issues. waykam@yahoo.com @WayneCamo ©