International Men's Day

The issues and experiences of men and boys are not taken seriously. In many societies men are expected to be tough and void of emotions. In our gendered approach to socializations boys from an early age are not shown as much attention when they hurt. Young boys are taught to “toughen up” or “suck it up” when hurt or when facing challenges. Emotional suppression is a learnt behaviour and lays the foundation for shame for unresolved feelings. This oftentimes positions anger and rage as the only acceptable masculine emotions. This “man up” attitude and narrative matures into a rejection of empathy toward others and repackages nurturing impulses as “weak.” Additionally, it is also very disrespectful for females to tell grown men to ‘man up’. It is this double standard approach regarding the sexes that oftentimes contribute to toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity refers to a set of negative and harmful social norms that are associated with traditional ideas of manhood, such as emotional repression, aggression, dominance, and devaluation of femininity. These pressures can be damaging to men who may struggle with mental health issues and violence, as well as damaging to the wider society as a whole contributing to gender disharmony, misogyny, and violence against women. Yet, all is not lost. International Men’s Day, observed annually on November 19 celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities. The day is set aside to highlight positive role models and raise awareness of men’s well-being. This year’s theme is “Celebrating Men and Boys”. The 6 Pillars of International Men’s Day are: to promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men but every day, working class men who are living decent, honest lives, to celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment, to focus on men’s health and wellbeing; social, emotional, physical and spiritual, to highlight discrimination against men; in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law, to improve gender relations and promote gender equality and to create a safer, better world; where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential. International Men’s Day provides a global platform to engage in conversations regarding manhood, masculinity and men's issues. The day is also important to examine legislative issues which can improve the lives of men and enhance their experiences. The introduction of paternity leave in the public service is one such good. Paternity leave in Jamaica became effective as of January 1, 2023 and biological fathers of newborns are now entitled to 20 working days’ paternity leave with pay. It should be noted that not all men benefit from the structural system of patriarchy, some men are also disadvantaged. While patriarchy privileges men as a group over women as a group, it also creates hierarchies among men themselves. Some men benefit greatly, while others are marginalized or disadvantaged. Men in dominant racial, class, or cultural groups often gain disproportionate authority in politics, business, and family structures. Patriarchy is a structural system that advantages men as a category compared to women, but it doesn’t distribute those advantages equally. Instead, it intersects with class, race, sexuality, disability, and other social hierarchies. Controlling and entitlement are part of the masculine coding in society. The Construction of Masculinity. According to Zilbergeld (1992), boys learn that their manhood is tied to their penis, and having and using erections has something to do with masculinity: "before having sex with partners or even themselves, boys know that sexual interest and prowess are crucial to being a man...Since sexuality is such a crucial component of masculinity, males feel pressured to act interested in sex whether or not they really are.” The construction of Caribbean masculinity is rooted to a large extent in the horrific period of enslavement. During slavery, the black men were viewed as inferior. Those enslaved men who were thought of as being strong and powerful were the first to be auctioned off. It is evidently clear that from around the 16th century a systemic and structured scheme was enforced to categorize black men. The black man was not allowed to show his emotions. Regrettably, this categorization of the male species lives on centuries later. We must then ask the question: how do we move the dial from where we currently are as men to where we desire to be? Masculinities. The construction of manhood and masculinity must also be viewed in terms of pluralizing the term masculinity. Professor of Sociology, R. William Connell’s theory of multiple masculinities speaks of a hegemonic masculinity to which most men adhere, however, Connell also makes reference to subordinate masculinities, which some men subscribe to. The realization that there are multiple masculinities and that this will have a profound impact on how a male comes to the acceptance and realization that he is a man cannot be overstated. Boys are often told not to cry, and men are told to “man up” and “take it like a man” when dealing with the pressures and stresses of life. These unrealistic and outdated notions of masculinity force many men into a corner where they struggle with their emotional vulnerabilities. These harsh descriptions of one’s masculinity can often be internalized and misconstrued as blemishes on one’s manhood. The society needs to move away from such skewed interpretations of masculinity. Disturbingly, boys who display school smarts are often ridiculed as effeminate by peers and even adults in areas where academic excellence by males is typically devalued. Masculinity refers to the roles, behaviors, and attributes seen as appropriate for boys and men in a given society. In short, masculinity refers to society’s expectations of males. In many societies, boys and men are expected to be strong, active, aggressive, tough, daring, heterosexual, emotionally inexpressive, and dominant. This toxic view of masculinity is reinforced by the agents of socialization such as the education system, where boys who are viewed as being different are bullied, teased, and ridiculed. Interestingly, those males who display soft skills are not seen on the same level as those males who display the thuggish persona. The activities surrounding International Men's Day are often organized by the Bureau of Gender Affairs and other government bodies to honour the positive contributions of men and address issues like health and well-being. Events typically include forums, workshops on mental and physical health, and award ceremonies to recognize outstanding fathers and role models. On this International Men’s Day, let us work harder for a gentler society rooted in a spirit of positive masculinity, while acknowledging the existence of multiple masculinities. The time is now for men to recommit and pledge their support in the campaign to improve our physical and mental health. It is also vital that as men, we strengthen other men where necessary as we collectively continue our journey rooted in masculinity and manhood. The day should also be used to foster a culture of gender harmony by working towards a framework for representing sex and gender in a way that is inclusive, accurate, and interoperable across systems. Additionally, International Men’s Day serves as a foundation for the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals, especially goal #5 which addresses gender equality. Globally, this important occasion should be used to encourage all men to continue playing their affirmative roles in their families, communities, and in nation building and development. Gender is not a metaphor for women. Men matter too. In the words of Barack Obama, all of us have to recognize that being a man is first and foremost being a good human. That means being responsible, being reliable, working hard, being kind, respectful, compassionate. Wayne Campbell is an educator and social commentator with an interest in development policies as they affect culture and or gender issues. waykam@yahoo.com @WayneCamo © #InternationalMensDay