Happy Father's Day Fitzroy

-
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”- Jim Valvano. It is often said that as one grows older one becomes wiser. It is a human tendency to take people for granted. Unfortunately, we live in a society where many fathers are just sperm donors. As a result on Father’s Day there is not much buzz surrounding the day’s activities. Sadly, a growing percentage of youngsters are fatherless; in fact we have heard of gangs who go by the name fatherless. This reality of the Jamaican society speaks volume to such members of the gang who have never known the love and support of a father. Many young men turn to gangs to feel a sense of belonging and loved. My experiences have been different. My dad, Fitzroy was present in our home. He was and continues to be supportive of my endeavours as well as those of his other children. I grew up seeing my dad going to work daily to support our mother Vinette and children. I find it strange that some men are comfortable staying at home being unproductive while their wives go to work. The stereotypical gender roles have certainly in some aspects made a U-turn. Much has been said recently about the state of the Jamaican society. We continue to bemoan the fact that most of our families are single-parent female headed families. Where are the fathers? We ought not to take anyone for granted. At times we fail to express our love and affection to our fathers. Many of us were not socialized to along this path. How many of us as men have ever heard those three words, “I Love You” from our fathers? The cycle of emotional disengagement continues as many men find it difficult to say those words to their sons especially during the often turbulent teenage years. As a youngster I knew that my dad loved me. I could feel my dad’s love. I am sure my siblings would agree with me. While Fitzroy was not an overly affectionate guy, there was not a day that went by that I did not feel loved. Fast forward to December of 2018 and my dad was hospitalized at the Kingston Public Hospital. It was Christmas Day to be exact. Dad was experiencing complications regarding diabetes. He was rushed to the Kingston Public Hospital shortly after 5 pm on Christmas Day. Dad was admitted the same night. I was there with my dad until after 11 pm; hours after the visiting time had ended. I was in a state of shock. I had never seen my dad sick before, more so to be hospitalized. It was an emotional draining and extremely stressful time for me. I thought my dad was going to die. He had to be lifted out of the car and placed in a wheelchair. That Christmas Night was very lonely. We often take fathers for granted. As I was leaving Ward 2A at the Kingston Public Hospital on that chilly Christmas night I kissed my dad on his forehead and told him I loved him. I covered him with the sheet and exited the hospital to the waiting taxi. Life comes in cycles; today we are strong and vibrant, while tomorrow we grow feeble. I thanked my dad this morning for being there for his children. He is not a rich man, but he has good principles and a character worth emulating. My dad was always at Parent Teachers Association (PTA) meetings. Fitzroy is God-fearing and humble. He attended all my graduations. He took us to church every Sunday. I cannot think of what my life would have been without my dad being there for us. Good fathers are often unnoticed and disregarded yet they are one of the most valuable assets in any society. Today I pause to salute you Fitzroy, you are a good father. I am blessed for having you Fitzroy as my father. Happy Father’s Day Sir. In the words of Ama H.Vanniarachchy, a father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives. Wayne Campbell is an educator and social commentator with an interest in development policies as they affect culture and or gender issues. waykam@yahoo.com @WayneCamo ©

Comments

  1. Kwame Barrett21 June 2021 at 05:53

    What a beautiful tribute to your father. It is true that the fathers that are present in their children's lives are often overlooked. The sad reality is that there has been a systematic and spiritual attack on the black man as the enemy knows that to capture a people you have to take out the head of the family. Too much of our men are either dead or behind bars in jails for ridiculous charges to feed the greed of the criminal justice money system and that needs to stop.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insecticides, Air Travel And Safety

-
Image
We are not insects, we are human beings. To travel by air is a privilege. Air travel is a costly adventure as well.   Those of us who have been fortunate to travel oftentimes experience some amount of excitement leading up to that moment. This heightened sense of emotion happens to almost all of us irrespective of whether we are a frequent flyer or a first timer. This buzz never goes away regardless of whether you travel economy or first class. However, for some folks there is a sense of nervousness during travel. There are numerous lessons we can learn whenever we travel. For example, our outlook on life is often altered due to the interaction with other peoples and cultures. Once the airplane takes off and you begin to ascend into the clouds, sometimes of altitude unbelievable to those without this experience, one can feel like someone who is imprisoned until your flight lands and you disembark. It is usually at those altitudes that the airline crew informs you that they are goin...
Read more

Vessels of Honour: Celestial Treasures

-
Image
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”- Psalm 51:10. Many of us have a skewed understanding of God our creator. In many instances we believe or are led to believe that in order to be used by God we must be pure and sinless. This tainted view undoubtedly also impacts our relationships we have with God. Having such a distorted view of God and what God demands from us oftentimes lead us into disobedience. The same is true concerning the weight of condemnation. It is for this reason why it is critical for us to spend time in the Word of God which is the Bible. We all need to know God for ourselves. We often make excuses to study the Bible, yet, we will spend hours on social media or hours gossiping people’s business. Nowhere is gossiping more pronounced than in the church. The church as we know it is not a place of honesty. Why do I say this? Oftentimes we turn to the church in our moments of weakness and vulnerability yet, the solace and compassion that ...
Read more

Interrogating Black Fatherhood

-
Image
“What I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our children all of our children a better world. Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”- Barack Obama. Fatherhood, especially black fatherhood oftentimes is not as celebrated as it should. As a result we continue to hear of the arguments surrounding my mother who fathered me. There are specific roles concerning the sexes and frankly speaking mothers cannot father children, likewise fathers cannot mother children. Indeed as a society we need to move the discussion away from these examples of oxymoron. This flawed premise has been around so long and unfortunately has become normalized in many societies. However, the time has come for us to have a serious and honest discussion as this argument must be interrogated and replaced with a sense of responsibility. In fact, there is one m...
Read more