First Lady : Cultural Manifestation or Biblical?

“And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ. Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”- Ephesians 4:11-13. Recently my mom asked whether there were any Biblical grounds for a congregation to refer to the wife of a pastor as First Lady. Those of us who have knowledge of the church are fully aware that wives of the pastor and the bishop are referred to as First Ladies. Have you ever thought about the office of First Lady in the church? Do you call the wife of your pastor First Lady? Undoubtedly, to have first ladies in our churches automatically relegate all other women to Second, Third, even Fourth Ladies. To do so elevate that spouse above others, puts undue pressure on her, and goes against biblical instruction for Christian leaders to serve and remain humble. It can be argued that this separation among the brethren of Christ is the beginning of division in the body of Christ which oftentimes leads to splinter groups in the body of Christ .The book of Ephesians in chapter 4, verses 11 to 12 clearly outlines the offices of the church and there is no First Lady among them. I have never added the title of First Lady to the wife of any pastor and I doubt that I ever will. The office of the First Lady is man-made and has no Biblical or spiritual significance. In many instances the wife of the pastor also preaches, however, there are those first ladies who do not preach. In a number of instances the First Lady has a larger than life personality. It is not uncommon for some First Lady to overshadow their husbands; this can be problematic for any church. While many women are honored in the Bible, both in the Old and New Testaments, none are given titles. There are several wives of prominent leaders in the Bible who are not named or take any identifiable role. In the New Testament, Peter's wife is identified only through a mention of his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14–15), but not named. Peter was a central figure in the building of the church. His wife does not receive a title. Others in the New Testament who were important, but did not receive titles, were Mary, Martha, Priscilla, Dorcas, the "elect lady" in 2 John 1:1, and the "elect sister" in 2 John 1:13. These "elect" women are not titled, nor granted an office, but identified by John as believers in Jesus as Savior and Lord, as all Christians are "elect"—that is, chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4). The use of First Lady could (and sometimes is) extended to the family's children as the First Son or First Daughter. This elevates the family above other members of the congregation, creating a hierarchy and threatening to establish a leadership dynasty, which is not how God designed the church to function. We have all seen this separation of the so called First Family at work in our churches, those who disagree are liars. By bestowing such a title runs counter to the spirit of humility, servanthood, empathy, impartiality, and mutual respect, all characteristics which are called for repeatedly in the New Testament (for example, Luke 6:31, Romans 11:18, Ephesians 4:1–16, Hebrews 13:16). If we are not careful many of us end up worshipping the First Families in our respective churches. As believers our priority should be to know God for ourselves and establish a personal relationship with him. Cultural Expectation The tradition of calling the pastor’s wife “First Lady” borrows from the secular practice of giving special distinction and honor to the wives of governmental chiefs or heads of state (presidents, prime ministers, governors, etc.). The reasoning is that, since honour is given to the office of the President of the United States, for example, then honour should also be given to his spouse thus, “First Lady” Michelle Obama or “First Lady” Laura Bush. This reasoning is extended to church settings: since pastors are doing a mightier work for God Himself than any earthly head of state, surely they (and their wives) deserve at least as much honor. The thought seems to be, what’s good for the President and First Lady of the White House is good for the pastor and “first lady” of God’s house. The “First Lady” title often displays itself in ungodly competition among believers and the parading of the flesh in the church. For example, in many churches the so-called “first lady” is expected—and she expects herself to distinguish herself by wearing the best clothes, showcasing the best hat, purse, shoes and jewelery, and having the best hair. There are some traditions which call for honorary titles for the spouses of government leaders and heads of state. The wife of a U.S. president is called the First Lady. Some churches extend this honour to the wives of pastors. Additionally, some churches grant upon the wife of a pastor more than an honour title, but also leadership roles and power to make decisions and co-pastor the church. There are those who will argue that there is no biblical mandate or example for this. However, I do believe females can be ordained pastors. Is the Holy Spirit gender specific regarding the outpouring of the Holy Spirit? There is no evidence of this in the Bible and therefore a female should not be excluded from becoming a pastor. This issue of females being ordained pastors is a timely one given that in many churches men are few and uninterested in assuming leadership role. Biblically the male is the priest within his home; however due to the absence of males in many households the women have had to assume that head of the family. This also transcends over to the church where women outnumber men. It appears that women are more likely and willing to serve the body of Christ. Unquestionably, the wife of a pastor makes tremendous sacrifice yet she is expected to support her husband in all he does. There might be instances where the relationship of the pastor and his wife are pressured as some pastors spend long hours away from their families. Therefore no one would question the right for a congregation to show appreciation to the wife and family of a pastor; indeed this should be encouraged. Very often than not the family of a pastor makes great sacrifices for the good of the congregation. It is always a noble and welcome gesture for a congregation to find ways to appreciate and encourage pastors and their families. In the words of Charles Ryrie, the two basic attitudes of life that must characterize genuine, biblical spirituality are thankfulness at all times and in all circumstances and the maintenance of unity in that part of the body of Christ. Wayne Campbell is an educator and social commentator with an interest in development policies as they affect culture and or gender issues. waykam@yahoo.com @WayneCamo ©