Masculine Caregiving

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honours.”- Tia Walker. Caring for loved ones often comes at a high price. The caregiver’s voice is frequently muted and this is problematic. Society can be harsh regarding how caregivers are viewed. Regrettably, the insensitivity directed at caregivers serves to devalue the important work we do. This culture of disrespect connects to broader issues of social justice, where undervaluing caregiver’s worth mirrors how marginalized forms of work are historically overlooked. Traditionally, women have been the dominant ones who are caregivers, however, increasingly; males have entered this realm of unpaid work. The disrespect shown to caregivers is not gender specific. People in almost all countries are living longer. Globally, babies born in 2022 are expected to live 71.7 years on average, 25 years longer than those born in 1950. Rapidly ageing populations have increasing health and long-term care needs. Caregivers also tend to be underpaid even in comparison to other occupations whose workers have similar skills, education and experience (England, Budig and Folbre, 2002). A lack of training commensurate with the needs of care recipients can also lead to physical and mental health issues among caregivers. Undoubtedly, this has negative consequences regarding the quality of care received by older persons. You cannot pour from an empty vessel. Oftentimes, no one is replenishing the caregiver. The United Nations (UN) states that care giving is an essential pillar of society, covering both the physical and emotional support provided to children, older adults, and individuals with chronic illnesses or disabilities. The UN divides care giving into two main categories: unpaid care work and formal care work. Even in countries with care provision policies, poor implementation has often left older persons, especially the most vulnerable, with fragmented, confusing and inadequate care options. It has also left caregivers with little income security. For instance, lack of legislation on labour standards has left care workers without guarantees on minimum daily and weekly hours, and with limited employment protection or assistance in case of unemployment. Caregiver's Burnout. A caregiver is a person who provides physical or psychological care to someone else. Caregivers help others who are not able to help themselves fully on their own due to declining health, an illness, injury or an underlying medical condition. Burnout does not happen overnight; it develops gradually and often masquerades as ordinary tiredness. Caregiver burnout is a state of severe physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by the prolonged stress of looking after someone else. It often happens when caregivers try to do everything themselves, sacrificing their own well-being, and it can severely impact their health and the quality of care they provide. The Cleveland Clinic states that caregiver burnout can impact a person in various ways, including physically, psychologically, financially and socially. The Cleveland Clinic adds, burnout feels like a candle that ran out of a wick it does not have what it needs to continue to provide light. It can occur when you do not get the help you need personally, as you devote all of your time and energy to helping someone else. It can also happen when you try to do more than you are able to, emotionally, physically or financially. The Male Caregiver. Men who are caregivers often have to navigate their own sense of masculinity. Theron, a colleague agrees with my observation. Theron is of the belief that society views male caregivers as emasculated and effeminate. He argues that people do not look on male caregivers kindly as they see care giving as a female role. He opines that the wider society has diminished respect for male caregivers rather than viewing this as a positive character attribute. Theron says, “when I took on the role of caring for dad, as the only sibling left behind it was a natural follow. it took its toll in many aspects of my life including health and relationships but was never viewed as a burden.” Theron continued, “in the latter stages it evoked emotional turmoil to see the man that was strong and confident and my guide in life start to lose his sense of independence and autonomy,” Being a caregiver is challenging and exhaustive even with support. If a caregiver is working with someone who has long-term needs, this becomes especially true. Family support is important along this journey. Even if the caregiver has not asked; caregivers need meaningful support. A good place to start helping caregivers is simply giving them time off, time they can spend caring for themselves. It would be a good gesture to offer to fill in for a day, if you are able. Caregivers often feel unappreciated. Sometimes the caregiver might just need a listening ear to talk through what they are experiencing. The State can and should do more for those who are caregivers and working full-time. The State should train a cohort of patient care assistants and facilitate these individuals to assist the elderly for a few hours daily. This elder assistance happens in developed societies. Caregivers should be able to get special leave from work with pay to accompany their parent or child to their medical appointments. Many caregivers work and therefore employers can assist by facilitating work- from- home where possible or adjust working hours for the caregiver. Without proper support, care giving can feel lonely and isolating. Theron adds that the State should provide volunteer helpers to ease the load. He is of the view that counseling should be provided for caregivers. You are never the same after you have been a caregiver. Care giving impacts one’s mental wellness. Unfortunately, in many instances the caregiver neglects himself to the detriment of his own health and well-being. This neglect of self is never intentional; however, it comes with being a caregiver. Of course, there are some caregivers who get time off from this all encompassing duty. On the other hand, there are those caregivers who never get a break; the one only break they receive is a mental break down. Theron’s Views. For the male caregiver in Jamaica, the challenge is even more layered. Caribbean masculinity is deeply tied to being the provider, the protector, the strong one. When a man steps into the role of bathing, feeding, or emotionally supporting a parent or child, he is doing something that many in his community may quietly question. Yet what these men are actually demonstrating is a quiet, powerful strength the kind that does not boast but shows up every single day. It is time we as a society reframe what strength looks like for a man. Choosing to care for a loved one is not weakness; it is one of the most courageous things a person can do. The male caregiver deserves to be celebrated, not side-eyed. There is also the matter of the male caregiver's emotional world, which is too often invisible much like the labour itself. Men are generally not encouraged to speak about how they feel, and care giving brings up feelings that are difficult even for the most expressive person grief, helplessness, exhaustion, and love all tangled together. As Theron described, watching a once-strong father lose his independence is a particular kind of heartbreak that has no easy name. Many male caregivers carry this silently, pushing through day after day without anyone asking, "how are you doing?" Our communities, churches, and workplaces can play a real role here simply by creating space for these men to be honest about their experience without judgment. A man who cares for others must also be cared for. Care and support systems must be person-centred. Care and support systems for older persons should be tailored to the needs, values and preferences of care recipients and caregivers. They should go beyond the medical aspects of care, encompassing an individual’s culture, life history, social support network and identity, and giving recipients control over care decisions. It should also be holistic, operating across governments, businesses, communities and households, addressing needs for the provision of both paid, formal care and informal, unpaid care. This can improve care outcomes and enhance the wellbeing of caregivers. Such an approach requires investing in both paid, formal long-term care infrastructure and supporting decent work options, including by enabling transitions from informal and unpaid to formal care provision. New legislation consistent with international labour standards is needed in many countries to recognize and protect care workers and address inequalities in working conditions; particularly the many women, migrants and members of ethnic minorities over-represented in the care sector. It would also help to improve the domestic supply of care workers by making it a more attractive employment proposition. When caregivers are treated with thoughtlessness, it diminishes not only their dignity but also the dignity of those who are being cared for. What is Human Dignity?. Too often the dignity of those being cared for is stripped away, The United Nations defines human dignity as the inherent, inalienable worth that belongs to every single person. Under the UN framework, dignity is not earned through social status or achievements, but is a universal birthright that forms the foundation of all freedom, justice, and human rights. At its most basic, the concept of human dignity is the belief that all people hold a special value that’s tied solely to their humanity. It has nothing to do with their class, race, gender, religion, abilities, or any other factor other than them being human. Human dignity justifies human rights. When people are divided and given a value based on characteristics like class, gender, religion, and so on, it creates unequal societies where discrimination runs rampant. People assigned a higher value get preferential treatment. Invisible Labour. Care giving is often invisible labour incorporating emotional, physical, financial and spiritual support that sustains families, communities and even the wider society. We live in a global space where increasingly the principle of compassion and empathy are fast eroding from our consciousness. To devalue care giving through obnoxious and disrespectful remarks erodes the very foundation of compassion that society is built on. This uncaring subculture in most societies raises questions about fairness and inclusion given the historically underpinning of the composition of caregivers. The agents of socialization such as the church has been found wanting in this aspect. In many instances once an older member no longer is able to make it to church that individual becomes invisible and marginalized. This is certainly not what God teaches or expect from the church. Too often, those who are tasked with crafting legislation are overly grounded in academia and far-removed from the trenches of the problem. Undoubtedly, there is a culture of ingratitude regarding the work and worth of caregivers. This is problematic and needs to change. As a society, more legislative protection is urgently needed for caregivers as well as for the elderly. Many caregivers also work full time. Unfortunately, there are no labour laws that provide for a special category of paid leave for those caregivers. Care giving is a vital part of any society. Sadly, many caregivers suffer in silence and end up in an early grave. Let us give more support to our caregivers. In the words of President Joe Biden, family caregivers are the backbone of our nation. Wayne Campbell is an educator and social commentator with an interest in development policies as they affect culture and or gender issues. waykam@yahoo.com @WayneCamo ©