The Male Sex Drive
The male sex drive is
undoubtedly one of the most powerful urges which oftentimes seems unbridled to
our female counterparts. However, if one subscribes to Darwinism, one might
argue that this cannot be helped and that men are merely acting out their animal
instincts.
Much of a man's masculinity is bottled up in his sexual capability. It can be argued that should man’s sexual capability be taken away then man and manhood would be viewed as a lion without teeth. This untamed sexual urge has held man captive from the beginning of time; however, this should not detract from having a good healthy sex drive.
Masculinity and Pornography
It bares thought that pornography has becomes more than just an attraction. If masculinity is caught up in sexuality and viewed solely via this lens; then pornography is undoubtedly an affirmation of masculinity for many. Pornography appeals to; the visual, stimulates the physical and temporarily satisfies the emotional, without a commitment.
It is often said that a man needs respect. Every man wants to feel like a king and been seen as being the man in charge. Pornography provides a vicariously experience. The female in most cases serves the man who compliments and boosts his ego until he fulfils his desires to the tune of more compliments and affirmation. Affirmation of young men via paternal unit would be an effective start to curbing this issue. Equally importantly is, having a positive male figure to mentor young men about manhood go beyond sex.
Sexual Desires
I once heard of a man who got aroused by being slapped in the face with pies. Whatever floats your boat is fine, as long as it's not illegal. Without an understanding partner a man finds comfort in those he watch openly carrying out acts he so passionately desires. However, it's been found that through proper communication, these desires can be expressed and often fulfilled by an understanding spouse. So as personalities are different likewise are our desires. However, limits must be drawn with sexual desires. These desires must be satisfied and freely served by both parties. For example, a man's desire for a threesome is generally him along with two others; however, the female partner idea about this is usually not taken into much consideration. For most the idea just became distasteful. A man must reach the point where he openly discloses his feelings and sexual desires to his spouse. In so doing he can express greater control over this part of his masculinity. It is always best to master one’s sexual urges than to be mastered by it. Sometimes our sexual desires deviate far beyond the boundaries of what is considered normal. This is a sensitive and sometimes a secret part of our lives. In many instances this secret becomes our second life. The porn industry has recognized this and as any smart business would the industry has capitalized on it. This industry has filled some of our darkest desires and in doing so has comforted many who has long to fulfill those desires. However, this desire at some point cannot be fulfilled only with the visual and once again the porn industry answers the call becoming match makers. I for one will not say that a spouse should give in to the every desire of their mate, but a relationship should have open communication without the fear of being ridicule. Let's face it; some of these desires can be out right dangerous.
Reality versus Fantasy
We also run into the issue of unreal expectations. What is done on camera in many cases is finalized by editing. The one hour sex session is subject to editing as well as the directors take on things. However, many watch thinking this is a true depiction of reality and develop unreal expectations. The reality is; many women in porn do not like what they do and some wish they could erase all footage of themselves from circulation. I was once told by a former porn star that in many of her filming she was under some kind of influence to make it easier. So porn not only obscures our view of manhood but predetermine our sexual interaction and expectations based on mere dramatization. Paying for a private strip show, lap dance or voyeur session is not the same as maintaining a relationship and surely cannot be compared with cohabitation. It is void of commitment; the pillow talk, hugs and cautious but selective language. Money answers all those things. It can be argued that such a person has detached himself from such responsibility and seems the better for it. However, the same person reaps its effects, for example, when he is ill or wanting to vent and how sorry that life must be when such an individual is penniless or without internet access.
Pornography truly brings pleasure and we must not deny this. However, we must see it for what it is. In most times pornography is the director’s view on reality to heighten sexual arousal and fulfill unrealized fantasies. The question we should then ask is; how does one separate oneself from the porn ideals and keep focus on what is reality in order to have a healthier sexual and overall relational life.
Much of a man's masculinity is bottled up in his sexual capability. It can be argued that should man’s sexual capability be taken away then man and manhood would be viewed as a lion without teeth. This untamed sexual urge has held man captive from the beginning of time; however, this should not detract from having a good healthy sex drive.
Masculinity and Pornography
It bares thought that pornography has becomes more than just an attraction. If masculinity is caught up in sexuality and viewed solely via this lens; then pornography is undoubtedly an affirmation of masculinity for many. Pornography appeals to; the visual, stimulates the physical and temporarily satisfies the emotional, without a commitment.
It is often said that a man needs respect. Every man wants to feel like a king and been seen as being the man in charge. Pornography provides a vicariously experience. The female in most cases serves the man who compliments and boosts his ego until he fulfils his desires to the tune of more compliments and affirmation. Affirmation of young men via paternal unit would be an effective start to curbing this issue. Equally importantly is, having a positive male figure to mentor young men about manhood go beyond sex.
Sexual Desires
I once heard of a man who got aroused by being slapped in the face with pies. Whatever floats your boat is fine, as long as it's not illegal. Without an understanding partner a man finds comfort in those he watch openly carrying out acts he so passionately desires. However, it's been found that through proper communication, these desires can be expressed and often fulfilled by an understanding spouse. So as personalities are different likewise are our desires. However, limits must be drawn with sexual desires. These desires must be satisfied and freely served by both parties. For example, a man's desire for a threesome is generally him along with two others; however, the female partner idea about this is usually not taken into much consideration. For most the idea just became distasteful. A man must reach the point where he openly discloses his feelings and sexual desires to his spouse. In so doing he can express greater control over this part of his masculinity. It is always best to master one’s sexual urges than to be mastered by it. Sometimes our sexual desires deviate far beyond the boundaries of what is considered normal. This is a sensitive and sometimes a secret part of our lives. In many instances this secret becomes our second life. The porn industry has recognized this and as any smart business would the industry has capitalized on it. This industry has filled some of our darkest desires and in doing so has comforted many who has long to fulfill those desires. However, this desire at some point cannot be fulfilled only with the visual and once again the porn industry answers the call becoming match makers. I for one will not say that a spouse should give in to the every desire of their mate, but a relationship should have open communication without the fear of being ridicule. Let's face it; some of these desires can be out right dangerous.
Reality versus Fantasy
We also run into the issue of unreal expectations. What is done on camera in many cases is finalized by editing. The one hour sex session is subject to editing as well as the directors take on things. However, many watch thinking this is a true depiction of reality and develop unreal expectations. The reality is; many women in porn do not like what they do and some wish they could erase all footage of themselves from circulation. I was once told by a former porn star that in many of her filming she was under some kind of influence to make it easier. So porn not only obscures our view of manhood but predetermine our sexual interaction and expectations based on mere dramatization. Paying for a private strip show, lap dance or voyeur session is not the same as maintaining a relationship and surely cannot be compared with cohabitation. It is void of commitment; the pillow talk, hugs and cautious but selective language. Money answers all those things. It can be argued that such a person has detached himself from such responsibility and seems the better for it. However, the same person reaps its effects, for example, when he is ill or wanting to vent and how sorry that life must be when such an individual is penniless or without internet access.
Pornography truly brings pleasure and we must not deny this. However, we must see it for what it is. In most times pornography is the director’s view on reality to heighten sexual arousal and fulfill unrealized fantasies. The question we should then ask is; how does one separate oneself from the porn ideals and keep focus on what is reality in order to have a healthier sexual and overall relational life.
Andrew
Nugent, laptopswer@gmail.com
#pornography
#sexdrive #masculinity #manhood #sexualfantasy #culture #society #Darwinism
#communication #internet #relationship #voyeurism #intimacy #mentoring #rolemodel
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